Mental Ramblings

When did everyone forget to write? when did everyone stop walking? Be it for leisure or for a purpose. I remember stories of my Grandparents and Uncles walking anywhere between 10-20 km daily to go to work, meet relatives or to go to church. There was a time when walking was the only option for pilgrimage. One had to prepare oneself beforehand, as it would take many days or even weeks to reach the divine destination and then return the same way after. Perhaps the race of technology has enabled many to go where it seemed impossible before but it also seems to have devolved our ability to push the physical human limits of ourselves. I wonder how many have experienced the relief, joy and awe of reaching one's destination after the hard journey that was. How many would actually give up going back home, thinking about what they would have to endure again on their way back? Perhaps that's why we used to ask the family to stay back when they visited? Not a matter of hospitali...

It is with insurmountable regret that I announce the end of this charade and am leaving this game. I have been subjected to intolerable mental atrocities and I have tipped over the edge to finally take the step over. I have had my moments where I have felt I may be able to hold on but living like this is now an incomprehensible thought. Although my current step goes against every fibre of my moral code, I am willing to abandon this life for some peace rather than spend another moment with my mouth gagged and spirit battered by a gang of haggles who could never comprehend anything beyond their own. My wings have been clipped time and again. I have been chained with tears and reprimand to their own benefit. There was never a moment I have longed so dearly and so closely for Death's embrace than now. I'd be better off nameless, without a mark but with freedom and purpose. There is no meaning to this charade if there is no respect. I no longer expect my due. I no longer ...

4 Nov 2013 I had a good feeling today. I was driving my scooter. It had been a long time since I just cruised a slow steady pace .....nowhere. The feeling of not stopping but not having to slow because u come to a curve or a traffic light....it felt good to just keep going without stopping. We have so many stops and go's in our lives cause we are racing to get where we want to be. We just stop enjoying the ride altogether. Give a moment to feel the cool wind on your body, shirt fluttering, hair flying, whistle on your ears...just feel free for a moment. We forget what we used to enjoy. We forget how we rode. Sit back and enjoy a latte, by yourself or with people who care. It's One life. Imagine that....gooooood coffeeeeee.

Written and forgotten way back in 29 Apr 2007  **** ---------------Youths and drugs   To answer that u have to do drugs! Have u ever considered the psychological effect of smoking, alcohol and narcotics? Most of these stuff are barbiturates (look it up in a medical dictionary)and stimulants(like coffee, only 30 times stronger). Alcohol numbs ur senses and not just ur five senses but ur emotional senses aswell. A normal (sober) person would have thousands of thoughts circling around in his head... and when those thoughts r about bills, responsibilities and other reasons for concern, ur neuro-system goes overload. Alcohol stops the flow of neural info thereby inhibiting the senses , both physical and emotional. A normal teen (pre-teens may also be included) has a great deal of things to think about and considering their growing age their hormones only fuel the anxieties that they have about school, home, boyfriend/girlfriend,family expectations,th...

When does something that is life-changing happen? How do we know that we have changed and do not know who we are? Is it when we look in the mirror and don't recognise the person we see? Or is it the feeling that gnaws at our eyes when we realize how much we have changed from where we began? Perhaps its a new change that is about to overcome our existence. Alienating our old self from something that is about to be a sea-change in ourselves. Or would we rather that we didn't need to know who we were before today when we looked in the mirror? Maybe we see it but are not able to reconcile to the fact that our image of ourself has also changed, perhaps distorted by imagining what we could have been and not focusing on who we are not. Maybe its time to awake from this delusionary dream of our self created image and to tide forward at what we really are and what we may become soon. The future cannot be seen. It merely chances an glimpse of what may be if we continue the course of o...

He had nothing to offer but a handshake. I was on my way to the clinic to get my finger stitched up after I cut it trying to open a can of luncheon. This little Sudanese boy, he was maybe 8, stood there outside his building and beckoned me. I don't understand Arabic, but a questioning nod from me was enough response for him. the few words he knew in English he used. "wait" he said and beckoned me to the entrance of the building. I saw a small red bicycle and I understood he needed help to get the bicycle up to his home. I went over picked up the bicycle with my healthy hand and started to follow the boy up the stairs. he lived on the second floor, the top floor of the building. I lay the bicycle on the floor and turned to leave, just as he says "thank you". I mention "you're welcome" as I step down, but he says "wait". I turn around and see his hand stretched out towards me. I couldn't help smiling as I accept his only offering for ...